The Following Account Is Based On Actual Events
by Anonymous You went from mild mannered to full-on thug in a two month period. What happened? All I hear are the rumors that you slept with the supervisor's girlfriend, a fellow coworker. Here's the...
View ArticleNot the Three-Way You Had in Mind
by Anonymous Not the three- way you had in mind, is it, Gunslinger? Yeah, I slept with her. She's really wonderful, isn't she? The way she moves, the sounds she makes, where she puts her hands. And...
View ArticleYes, There is Something Wrong with California
by Anonymous But of course at this point there's nothing to be done about it. California is a consumerist utopia, and now that it's been rotting for long enough, it has turned itself northwards. Not...
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Good Morning, News: Uroboros Glass, the Police Union Contract, and Another...
by Doug Brown Good morning, Portland. I'll be bummed out if you don't click the links I've curated for you.Michela ButtingnolOut in print and online yesterday, check out this week's feature on the...
View ArticleShut that dog the F*ck up
by Anonymous Listen, I get it. You love to take a morning stroll through the Belmont District with your adorable dog. What is absolutely unacceptable is leaving your incessantly barking dog tethered...
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California is the Latest State to Strike Down the Statute of Limitations in...
by Megan Burbank Progress.Chris Potter via Wikimedia CommonsCalifornia just became the most recent state to strike down the statute of limitations in rape cases, getting rid of the 10-year time limit...
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Sold Out Blues? W. Kamau Bell Adds Another Show to His Portland Visit!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey You love comedian W. Kamau Bell whose painfully smart comedy makes you pee a little with glee. But you were too late to snag tix to his upcoming Oct 21 show at Aladdin. WHAT TO...
View ArticleSame Shit Different Day
by Anonymous Do you ever feel like everyday is the exact same and that every encounter is with the same fucking people all day everyday? I feel this way every time I visit your sorry ass. Same...
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Things To Do Today 9/29
by Mercury Staff Bianca Del Rio If you’re not familiar with the sharp-tongued comedy of drag artist Bianca Del Rio (real name Roy Haylock), let’s get you up to speed! Bianca took home the crown in...
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HUMP! 2016: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!
Your Entries Are Due THIS Friday, September 30, So Quit Fucking Around. Or START! ALL HUMP! 2016 SUBMISSIONS ARE DUE NO LATER THAN FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 30, 2016, so quit fucking around. Or START!HUMP!...
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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Too Good To Be True
by Dan Savage I'm on an online dating site (OKCupid) and a woman I matched with asked if I would join her swingers club. I'm suspicious mostly because they claim to have fifteen female members and...
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Developer/Horse-Cop Booster Bob Ball Is Now Defending Elected Sheriffs
by Dirk VanderHart They've been largely unheralded to date, but you might want to know you'll be voting on a series of changes to the Multnomah County charter this November. It's not entirely...
View ArticleLuke Cage Debuts on Netflix Tonight! Stay Up and Get HYPED!
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Just after midnight tonight, Netflix will be streaming the first season of one of my most anticipated new shows of 2016—Marvel's Luke Cage. And they've already released the...
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Read the 2016 Oregon Cannabis Guide!
Your Annual Mini-Magazine About All Things Weed Has Arrived by Ned Lannamann BEHOLD: Your brand-new Oregon Cannabis Guide. It's the Portland Mercury's second annual supplement about all things weed,...
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This Weekend's Style Events
by Elizabeth Mollo ReliqueLille Boutique will host a trunk show and sample sale for Relique, a New York based lingerie line. The event will feature a meet-and-greet session with one of the designers,...
View ArticleGod, Guns & Trump Pt.1
by Anonymous I need some advice.Here is the deal ~ My next door neighbor has been a tenant & employee of our landlord for almost 20 yrs. The business is construction. That's relevant because there...
View ArticleGod, Guns & Trump pt.2
by Anonymous He would destroy our property (purposely trample flower beds, break things, etc), make as much noise as possible, & peek into my roommates window, laughing. The LL refused to do...
View ArticleGod, Guns & Trump pt. 3
by Anonymous Finally, his niece had been living next door to his family. She was young & had a party one night. Lo & behold, she invited some black people to the party. Yes, all the kids were...
View ArticleDriving in Circles
by Anonymous The lady in blue who caught your eye with those rainbow glasses had cried her fake eyelashes off that morning, her life had turned upside down overnight.Still she found reasons to smile,...
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Good Morning, News: Fire-Sale Weed, a Lunchtime Debate, and a Year Since...
by Dirk VanderHart Amanda LucierTomorrow marks the one-year anniversary of the mass shooting at Roseburg's Umpqua Community College. Nine people were murdered on October 1, 2015, before the shooter...
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