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Happy 4/20! Now, Let's Clear Some Things Up
by Josh Jardine GETTY / THECRIMSONMONKEYHappy holiday! Even the most challenged mathlete among us knows that on this week falls 4/20, AKA Stoner Christmas. But why 4/20? What mystical connection does...
View ArticleNow YOU Too Can Watch Drake Perform with Travis Scott in Portland, Because...
by Ned Lannamann Yep. The rumors were true.So, did you miss Drake taking the stage with Travis Scott last night during Scott's Memorial Coliseum show? Luckily, we are alive during the golden age of...
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The Bridgetown Comedy Fest Schedule is Up, and It's Great
by Megan Burbank HOORAYBridgetown Comedy FestivalGo look at it! It's full of lots of exciting visiting shows—e.g., Guy Branum's Gay Bash, Competitive Erotic Fan Fiction with Bryan Cook, and Jackie...
View ArticleWorld's Most Terrible People (Sarah Palin, Kid Rock, Ted Nugent) Visits #1...
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey The White House reached a new level of GROTESQUELY HORRIBLE yesterday when members of the top 10 most terrible people in the world converged in the White House: Sarah Palin,...
View ArticleMissed Connection
by Anonymous Thought I would give the gym another try, but now I am reminded of why I didn't want to work out there anymore. You. You sat on the one machine I wanted to use, but not using it. More...
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Big Freedia, the New Orleans Queen of Bounce, Returns to Portland
by Jenni Moore BIG FREEDIA She did not come to play.KOURY ANGELOSince releasing her studio debut, Queen Diva, in 2003, New Orleans’ Big Freedia—born Freddie Ross—continues to soar into legendary...
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Five Reasons You Shouldn’t Mope About Missing Drake and Travi$ Scott Last...
by Jenni Moore Kevin Winter/GettyDon't get me wrong: Travi$ Scott is a great artist and an energetic performer, and having Drake show up was really memorable. But the Flying Lotus cancellation mixed...
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Are Washington's Edibles Stronger Than Oregon's?
by Will Patterson ISRAEL_PATTERSONDear Pot Lawyer,Why do edibles seem stronger in Washington than in Oregon?It isn’t your imagination—Washington’s edible products really are more potent than down here...
View ArticleI'm Watching You
by Anonymous I been noticing security at alot of grocery stores these days. Awesome! But what's with the constant staring and profiling. I know. I know. That's what a security does. But they should...
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Solange's 2016 Album A Seat at the Table Is a Source of Joy and Validation...
by Jenni Moore SOLANGEELISA TAHANWhen Beyoncé releasedLemonade last April, it was one of the greatest celebrations of Black womanhood and collaborative Black excellence ever created by a mainstream...
View ArticleJust Screw It
by Anonymous Lately I've been looking at people and wondering what sex would be like with them. Most of it, I don't want to picture. It's true, I don't give people enough credit, or the benefit of the...
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Stream Queen: Binge on Melissa McCarthy with Nobodies, Saturday Night Live,...
A weekly digest of streaming TV recommendations, paired with entertaining commentary and photoshopped imagery. by Chase Burns Melissa McCarthy is making her rounds on TV and it's all for you,...
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I, Anonymous Classic: Dear Clowns of Portland
by Wm.™ Steven Humphrey Here's another I, Anonymous Classic from the I, Anonymous archives!DEAR CLOWNS OF PORTLANDDear delusional clown-folk people of Portland who wear floppy pants and still believe...
View Article10 for $10: The Best Bang for Your Buck Shows, April 21-23
by Mercury Staff RECORD STORE DAYat Everyday Music (Downtown) The downtown Burnside branch of Everyday Music celebrates the 10th annual Record Store Day with in-store DJ sets and live music from Bed.,...
View ArticleThank You For Turning Me Down
by Anonymous Your maiden name rhymed with the actor who played Fonzi. You have a late sister named Debra. I’m very sorry. She and I were in the same class at Llewellyn and CHS, and I only recently saw...
View ArticlePassive Aggressive
by Anonymous I get it; you don't like me. I don't like you either. Fine. Get over it. You are a grown man who feels to need to shout passive aggressive comments at me like somehow you are affecting me...
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Good Morning, News: Abusive Elder-Care Homes, Terror in Paris, and Doug Brown...
by Dirk VanderHart The Champs-Elysées, scene of Thursday's terror attack in Paris.WikimediaAnother terror attack in Paris, just a day before France voted in the first stage of its presidential...
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Pickathon Starlight Series, Episode 7: C.W. Stoneking
by Ned Lannamann Dylan VanWeeldenMoving through Pickathon can sometimes feel like traveling through time, with musical styles from all eras—from bracingly modern jams to amber-preserved vintage...
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Things to Do This Weekend: April 21-23
by Mercury Staff Soul and Science. The two might not seem like they go together at first blush, but both are necessary, and worthy of celebration. The March for Science takes over the nation on...
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Timbers v. Vancouver Match Preview
by Abe Asher Craig Mitchelldyer/Portland TimbersLast Saturday, the Portland Timbers faced their toughest test of the 2017 season against Sporting Kansas City — and were handed a lesson in a 1-0...
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